Forgotten Anniversary

It seems as if George forgot his Anniversary and when he came home to the little lady she was very upset. He asked how he could make up for it. She told him if she found something that went from 0-200 in less than 6 seconds in their driveway the next day everything would be fine. 

The next day she went out to find a bathroom scale sitting in the driveway. As for George we still haven't found him. 

 

Posted by Don Dean

Don Dean
AGING BABY BOOMERS? NOT US!!!

(Thanks goes out to George Hatcher for this one)

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.



They include:

Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker .

Ringo Starr --- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

The Bee Gees -- - How Can You Mend a Broken Hip..

Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny Nash --- I Can't See Clearly Now.

Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver

The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

Marvin Gaye --- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.

LEO SAYER ---You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

The Temptations --- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

Abba--- Denture Queen.

Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.

And Last but NOT least:

Willie Nelson --- On the Commode Again

*************************************************************************

Doo Wop Oldies Quiz:

Doo Wop Oldies Quiz:

Thirty great memories about music that caused our parents and teachers grief!!!! Welcome to "The Expanded
Doo-Wop Oldies Quiz." Take the quiz and see how you score as a true "Oldies Fan." Write down your answers and check them against the answers at the end. Don't cheat, now!


1. When did 'Little Suzie' finally wake up?
(a) The movie's over, it's 2 o'clock
(b) The movie's over, it's 3 o'clock
(c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock


2. "Rock Around The Clock" was used in what movie?
(a) Rebel Without A Cause
(b) Blackboard Jungle
(c) The Wild Ones

3. What's missing from a Rock & Roll standpoint?
Earth _____
(a) Angel
(b) Mother
(c) Worm

4. :I found my thrill . . ." where?
(a) Kansas City
(b) Heartbreak Hotel
(c) Blueberry Hill

5. "Please turn on your magic beam, _____ _____
bring me a dream,:
(a) Mr. Sandman
(b) Earth Angel
(c) Dream Lover

6. For which label did Elvis Presley first record?
(a) Atlantic
(b) RCA
(c) Sun

7. He asked, "Why's everybody always pickin' on me?"
Who was he?
(a) Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
(b) Charlie Brown
(c) Buster Brown

8. Bobby Darin's "Mack The Knife," the one with the
knife, was named:
(a) MacHeath
(b) MacCloud
(c) MacNamara

9. Name the song with '"A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom."
(a) Good Golly, Miss Molly
(b) Be-Bop-A-Lula
(c) Tutti Fruitti

10. Who is generally given credit for originating the term
"Rock And Roll"?
(a) Dick Clark
(b) Wolfman Jack
(c) Alan Freed

11. In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher:
(a) Little Richard
(b) Frankie Lymon
(c) Tony Orlando

12. Paul Anka's "Puppy Love" is written to what star?
(a) Brenda Lee
(b) Connie Francis
(c) Annette Funicello

13. The Everly Brothers are . . ...
(a) Pete and Dick
(b) Don and Phil
(c) Bob and Bill

14. The Big Bopper's real name was:
(a) Jiles P. Richardson
(b) Roy Harold Scherer Jr.
(c) Marion Michael Morrison

15. In 1959, Berry Gordy, Jr., started a small record
company called...
(a) Decca
(b) Cameo
(c) Motown

16. Edd Brynes had a hit with "Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb.
'What TV show was he on?
(a) 77 Sunset Strip
(b) Hawaiian Eye
(c) Surfside Six

17. In 1960 Bobby Darin married:
(a) Carol Lynley
(b) Sandra Dee
(c) Natalie Wood

18. They were a one hit wonder with "Book Of Love":
(a) The Penguins
(b) The Monotones
(c) The Moonglows

19. The Everly Brothers sang a song called 'Till I ________ You."
(a) Loved
(b) Kissed
(c) Met

20. Chuck Berry sang "Oh, ___________, why can't you be true?"
(a) Suzie Q
(b) Peggy Sue
(c) Maybelline

21. "Wooly _______"
(a) Mammouth
(b) Bully
(c) Pully

22. "I'm like a one-eyed cat . . .
(a) can't go into town no more.
(b) sleepin' on a cold hard floor.
(c) peepin' in a seafood store.

23. "Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do . . ."
(a) cause there ain't no answer for a life without booze.
(b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues.
(c) cause my car's gassed up and I'm ready to cruise.

24. "They often call me Speedo, but my real name is . . ..."
(a) Mr. Earl.
(b) Jackie Pearl.
(c) Milton Berle.

25. "You're my Fanny and nobody else's . . ..."
(a) girl.
(b) butt.
(c) love.

26. "I want you to play with my . . . "
(a) heart.
(b) dreams.
(c) ding a ling.

27. "Be Bop A Lula . . ."
(a) she's got the rabies.
(b) she's my baby.
(c) she loves me, maybe.

28. "Fine Love, Fine Kissing . . ...".
(a) right here.
(b) fifty cents.
(c) just for you.

29. "He wore black denim trousers and . . .."
(a) a pink carnation.
(b) pink leotards.
(c) motorcycle boots.

30. "I got a gal named . . ."
(a) Jenny Zamboni.
(b) Gerri Mahoney
(c) Boney Maroney.


Answers: Scroll Down so you aren't tempted to cheat
(as if cheating were needed here).

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
1 (c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock
2. (b) Blackboard Jungle
3. (a) Angel
4... (c) Blueberry Hill
5. (a) Mr. Sandman
6. (c) Sun
7. (b) Charlie Brown
8. (a) Mac Heath
9. (c) Tutti Fruitti
10. (c) Alan Freed
11. (a) Little Richard
12. (c) Annette Funicello
13. (b) Don and Phil
14. (a) Jiles P. Richardson
15. (c) Motown
16. (a) 77 Sunset Strip
17. (b) Sandra Dee
18. (b) The Monotones
19. (b) Kissed
20. (c) Maybelline
21. (b) Bully
22. (c) peepin' in a seafood store.
23. (b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues.
24. (a) Mr. Earl.
25. (b) butt.
26. (c) ding a ling.
27. (b) she's my baby.
28. (a) right here.
29. (c) motorcycle boots
30. (c) Boney Maroney.***************************************************************************************************

I AM A CHRISTIAN

WHEN I SAY I AM A CHRISTIAN

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I was lost!"
That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.

 

 

November 3, 2008

***********************************************************************************

FROM SHARON FRIER-POSHARD

When life is hard and
Payday i
s still so far away
And when the salary comes it's not enough

there is only one thing to do......

*************************************** 

From George Hatcher: I WAS JUST WONDERING.......

WHEN WILL THIS

 POLITICAL CRAP BE OVER???

*************************************

DID YOU EVER HAVE DAYS WHERE YOU FELT OUT- NUMBERED?
WHERE WAS THIS PLACE?

DOES ANYONE RECOGNISE THIS WONDERFUL PLACE FROM OUR PAST?

 

??????????????????????????????????????????????

REMEMBER WHEN.....................

DOES THIS PICTURE BRING BACK A LOT OF MEMORIES?

 

 

*********************************************************************

REMEMBER WHEN??

Memory was something you lost with age?

An application was for employment?

A program was a TV show?
A curser use profanity?

A keyboard was a piano?
A web was a spider's home?

A virus was the flu?
A CD was a bank account?

A hard drive was a long road trip?
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived?

Remember???

************************************************************************

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

This was sent to me by Nancy Stephens-Daugherty

 

 

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

 

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in eachsack.***************************************************************************

CHANGE IS COMING!

George Hatcher sent this to me and I thought it was Great!! 

Candy

The buzzword of this election is 'CHANGE.' Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Just that we need.....CHANGE!


This brings to mind the following illustration.

Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a major who inspected his Marines and told the Gunny Sargent that they smelled bad.  The major suggested that they change their underwear.  The Gunny responded, 'Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately.'
 
He went into the tent and said, 'The major thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz....everyone change, now get on with it.'  And the moral of this story is:  A candidate may promise change in Washington...but the stink remains!
 
       THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 
      DEMOCRACY WILL CEASE TO EXIST WHEN YOU
      TAKE AWAY FROM THOSE WHO ARE WILLING TO
      WORK AND GIVE TO THOSE WHO WOULD NOT.
**********************************************************************************************************